F-you Money

Money is one of those weird things in life. So important and yet, a lot of people spend a lot of time making sure we know that “money isn’t everything.” In fact, money is so unimportant - why bother including personal finance in school? Who needs to learn about saving, investing, compound interest, or the dangers of debt. In fact, money is so unimportant, that it is crass to talk about it - whether you have it or you don’t have it.

The thing is, we all know that money is important. So important, that we feel shame and guilt and so many other big emotions about it. About not knowing enough about it. About not being good with money.

Luke, my husband, had his “big boy job” for a while before I started making money in residency. My retirement account options came in my orientation packet and I remember him telling me that he was contributing 12% to his 401k. I was upset. 12% for what! 12% that we don’t get to use? Did he know that a new house costs money? And furniture cost money? And on and on and on. 

I really tried to understand my retirement account. I remember reading articles online and being so confused. I remember emailing back and forth with the financial advisor and it still did not make any sense. How much money should I put in the Roth? Or the traditional account? What was this progressive rate increase that I was automatically enrolled in? And why? Eventually, I got busy and annoyed at how much effort this was taking and did it really matter? So I left my account on its default settings.

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I don’t remember how or why, but in 2018 I picked up the book “Your Money or Your Life”. And, seriously, it changed my life. It agrees that “money isn’t everything” but delves so much deeper into why the decisions we make about money help us show up for the things that matter.

This book helped motivate me to try learning about finances again. And, as with everything, having a stronger, well-defined “why” was all I needed. The things I learned and applied are part of what led me here. I had “F-you money”. “Peace-out money”. I could make decisions for my health and happiness, without worrying about how the bills would be covered until I could find another job.

That’s where I want to help other people get as well. I can’t count the number of times I’d come home from work and vent to my husband that something was wrong. People worked so hard, so hard. And they still frequently had to choose between which medications they could afford. Or they couldn’t take time off for a broken ankle. Or they went back to work days after having a baby because they had no choice. 

Yes, it takes discipline and change to get to financial stability. But let’s figure out your “why” so that the next time a choice arises, you can choose you.